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No more drug store laces for us!
Bro, do you even action movie?
Sorry, fat people.
We know you can bench, but do you actually lift?
Sadly, the women in our lives won’t let us use flamethrowers.
And what happened to my big sandwich?
See, now you have no excuses.
What are you, a Terminator?
Wherein Julia Louis-Dreyfus pawns her Emmy.
So get on it, old man.
Weekend, or six months—both good options.
Or bats, as it were.
Also, something about burgers.